~lack of care~

NIGHT
today the whole day i was been celebrate father's day..!! that was amazing and cool for the whole day go..!! but until night while we going home..!! suddenlyi think back my cell group thing and our cell group members i feel like oh my GOSH...am i out of this cell group..!! i totally out of my mind..!! why i feel like im lack of you guyz caring?? am i jealousing or what?? i guess not..!! cause 1 of my gang friend..!! pooi kee...i bring her to church for 2 weeks..!! just 2 weeks only..!! short term..!! you know what is the weird feeling that i feel??is this( why i feel like she been caring by all my cell group members but accept me)..?? hmm....i just feel everyone caring each other like a family but im out of it..!! i cant flow in..!! should i leave this cell group and this church..! and go back to my mother church..!! calvary church?? i have no idea bout it..!! i asked few of my close friends..!! lucas replied..!! (im big enough....i should take care of my self..!! i should not so depends on other..everyone have their on business and life to go on ...im should not think negative side)...ji herng replied ...(i consider a working member ...who can take care of the new member...and bring the new member to become a christian)...tracy replied( i understand what you feel...just strenghten your heart...) i guess im wrong in this way..!! i knew im thinking the negative side..!! i guess i still not mature enough..!! i still need people care and love..!! cause all along i have been keep caring other people..!! actually i need care too..hmm..!! i dont wanna said to much..!! just fine..!! emm...!! guyz i guess im not going to cell group and church for this week..!! anyways pooi kee...i apologize what i;ve done..!! i dont know what to do with you..!! i seriously dont know..!! im sorry ...and sorry..!! take care everyone