~Half dead ASHLEY~

Gosh...im so dead now...going through the death...

Tomorrow is the day that 3 assignment due, presentation and mid term test..!!

GOD help me to go through it..!! send your wisdom and energy to me.!!

I'm so lost..and so tired now.!! my eyes are closing now, but i still got assignment to complete...

Coffee or Tea also no help anymore..!! strengthen me NOW...!! AMEN..!!

Half DEAD ASHLEY

~Friends~

I'm Back guyx..!!

sorry for the few weeks that I've been not giving out my caring to you all.

Sincerely apologize to everyone that I've hurt..!!

I drunk into unconscious situation, now I'm awaken.!! my soul is awaken..

I'm so happy, once again i can mix up back with my collage mate, MY GANG

even though we are not going out often, but i still can feel that you guyz care me as a sister.

Not left out is all my church members and my closer friends.

Every time cheer me up, ask me out but i rejected.

BUT you guyz never give me up..! always stay beside me.!!

God really thank you that you let them walk into my life.

Woon,Jen and Pk...thank you, thousand appreciate.!!

what you guyz have told me i will remember and lock into my memory.!!

I'm BACK..!!

~End of the journey~

is time to end our journey...!!

no point to continue this journey anymore ...!

when the time come, that means the new journey will start..

The old journey is super hard to walk down, a lot of torns hurting my legs.

a lot of holes, a lot of way that lead you to death..

Now I'm waiting for the new journey to arrive...

Thats you and me..!!

The darkness journey has pass, brightness journey is coming through..

I wont not afraid of losing this journey, cause i know we will start a new journey once again.

No fear, no sadness, no tears, no hurt

but came out is

Happiness, joy, peace, love and Forver

If you didnt for suffer doing 1 things, you gain no nothing

Suffer brought you harvest.

Now is the time for us to

Support one another, help one another, learn together and love one another..

There is no night and darkness in our new journey anymore however the sun will shine on us brightly.

~again~

Again and again..!!

we once again seperated.

sad, crying and missing.

Dont have your day in my life i feel so miserable

I always look up to the sky and i saw a picture that we holding hand and walk in to the church

I feel so happy, but why you cant walk with me this narrow road?

When i saw you, your eyes will always fill up with sadness tears.

My heart full of blood bleeding out....

I very tired to carry this burden, can you stand up and help me carry??

is very very heavy darling..!! is very very heavy..!!

Am i stupid?? why i always will cry for this, why i always will confuse about our relationship?

Why cant i just walk with faith??

When i saw your tears drop onto my skin, my heart just break.

I wont walk with you the sweetest road now, i rather i suffer, I can ensure I can find back the sweetest moment in my future.

~Hate~

I locking up myself, i hate the way of my life. Sick of it.!!

Ashley say no to this:

-Basketball

-hang out

-sms

-phone call

Emo-ing, hope that i will be okie ...just want to silent down for few days and change my stupid character.

~Throat~

Gosh....just last day, after my english class i went home and took a nap in the afternoon, when i woke up my throat started to pain and my body felt cold. I thought well is alright, is just a normal sort throat, but come to at night my temp slowly raised up. Gosh...my throat is just like a knife cutting down through in, after a while my mum gave me medicine, in the midnight my fever just gone. The next day morning, my fever comes again and i was so struggle should i attend my class or i just rest at home, but i end up stay at home sleep....ZZZZzzzz..! In the afternoon Rico came to my house and take care me for the whole day long and brought me coconut, wow..such a nice guy man.!! well...of cause cant left out Pooi Kee, she is the 1 that brought me whole box of fruit, there have various of fruit inside the box. By the way she also wrote me a bible verse that is kinda interesting, saying that Jesus heal peter's mother-in-law fever. lolxx....anyways i really appreciate what they have done for me, and also people who are pray for my sickness. Darling, thanks for staying beside me while I'm sick, i slept you are the 1 sat beside me and never walk away; every 10 min you feed me with water to avoid my throat get dry ; every 1 hour you help me to check my temp; everytime my temp raise up, you will pray for me, i really glad that i found you in my life. My mummy also let go and let you to care for me, though we are now silent down, but i also can feel that both of us will never end up this journey. Thanks i found YOU (darling) and all my buddy of cause i wont forget to thanks is my Family, that always take care of me every min and second...thousand thank you and appreciate

~Afraid~

Yesterday night was a scary dream i ever had. I was kinda sleepy, cause of my english assignment i need to stay up late to complete it. It was 2 in the morning, finally completed my assignment, was about to sleep i just said a very simple prayer, just right after the short prayer, i was half-conscious and i saw some of the evil faces pop out in front me or dream i have no idea, is like different kind of scary faces. Then i struggle, i tried to open my eyes to let me stay conscious back, in order to escape those scary faces. Well this is the third nightmare i had in pass few days, gosh...it makes me feel scary when i got to go bed. So happening today i went to the kitchen and made milo to drink, and i saw a knife hanging there, i have no idea why i will afraid of the knife. Is just like suddenly i kept thinking that someone will take up this knife to kill me, isn't i think too much? i guess not...!! Gosh...I'm so confuse now, and i called up him to pray for me. Now i feel much better than just now. Spiritual Warfare..!!

~who else~

Today is the first and ever first time i skip my cell group because of some tiny problem. Well somehow to you is not a problem, but to me is affect my emotion. I chose not to tell anyone, even though you (my darling). I started to doubting, and wondering, why this piece of SHIT make my day turn grey? This week is not belongs to me, I never gone through such a suffering week before. Out of the sudden, every freaking problem pop out. I thought of go away this freaking sadness place, now I felt that this place is not belongs to me, I'm really LONELY. Where is those bulb light that brighten my path? I cant even see the road or even my fingers. My path is full of darkness, but i saw some of the foot print there, is that God?? are you?? I start to hesitate, am i following the right foot step?? sigh, i rather stop right at the tree; take a rest and wait someone to come and rescue; walk with me this darkness and follow the blurish foot step. I was so afraid now, sitting under the tree alone." YELLING FOR HELP", WHO ELSE ARE THERE?? PLEASE DONT GO AWAY FROM ME, PLEASE.

~I'm sad, I'm down~

well, no matter how, our time still cant match together, is that called "fate"?? we tried to manage, we tried to plan, but there is still the same, I cant meet up with his family members. The way to espress myself is to cry again. please pray that the negative thought will go away. my mind now is so confuse....please do pray for me

~Grandpa Birthday~

Yea...Jaya Palace... just right beside Crystal Plaza...luxury dinner, worth to eat. well according to this kind of restaurant, price will not be cheap as what we thought. Is around RM880++ per table. Food are super de-li-cious, especially their soup. I like this feeling that can eat inside the private room with own family members and match with the delicious dishes, is damn freaking cool man.! In my future, I wish i can bring along my family to come and eat once again. By the way I like their toilet as well..clean, nice decoration and fragrant. "Mua"

~So sorry~

Thunder streak to my mind, I messaged and told her how's my feeling toward her... is already 2 weeks, we never sms each other much or even a phone call. we seem like busy by our own stuff and neglected one another. I have no idea what she going through now, and totally blank...!! I though after everything have settle, we will go together and move on to the other level of our life, but why i felt that we have boundaries between us? is that something i did wrong or I'm not the one that suppose to gone through with you this things??or we are just a hi-bye friends? I started to blame myself, I tried not to doubt our friendship, just let everything pass and tomorrow will be a better day. This is one and only sentence i've been used to comfort myself. I'm not trying to ask you to share your problem to me, somehow i just want to have a heart talk with you, or a simple greeting messages from you. Just to tell you that, during the duration of your silent mood, I'm always beside you to support and cheer you up. Waiting you back to my life, and once again guide me back in my spiritual life. I've chosen you to be my spiritual partner. I'm waiting. Friendship will never end, it will be grow stronger and strongest.

"Friends will be always been there to help you,

It may not be the advise they give,

But it is the support given that really counts.

~Edison Chen accepted Christ~

Gosh.!! i cant believe that a news man..! GOD you are so real and so cool..! Edison Chen accepted Christ, and gave his life to you GOD. Angels are happily rejoice in heaven now, a sinner once again come to you and seek for you forgiveness and mercy, i was so shock about this news man.! Thanks God you send Pastor Jaeson Ma to share your gospel to him. After i heard about this news, i feel that God revival is coming now, is such a miracle happen. This is a super cool testimony man.!! By the way now Edison Chen family and friends also turns to GOD cause of his testimony. God once again restored back the joy and happiness in his life...! I pray that Edison Chen can influent the Asian turn to God's kingdom. God you are so real, revival is coming now, guyz is time for you to turn back to God's kingdom. He is always waiting for you to turn back to him. Lets us start praying that we can able to win back every single soul that is lost. WALK BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT.