~Dont think~

I dont think i can get out from my comfort zone
I dont think i can put down things that i love the most..
I love the way i am now...
I love the way i am....
No matter what...I just can tell "YOU"...just leave me go..
I dont think i can love you as you love me..
I dont think i can be the one you use...
I dont think i can sacrified like how you sacrified me
I just know I'm not belongs to this place...

~I like do things behind~

Dont bother my stuff...
I love to do what i want...
I like to enjoy....I like no one disturbing....
But why always you the one want to know what i doing??
I'm a girl needed someone to take away all my burden
I just need times to relax...
But why you always the one who know??
I just need to have my own privacy....
Cheat is because I just want no one knows what im doing...
i need privacy time for my own..
i dont like always check by people...
asking where am i, what im doing...or why not going to church..
is all because you all hold me too tight...

~The awesome day~

It was freaking awesome day...

Finally i get right myself back to GOD..

I obey what leader has said...

I turn myself back to His way...

The 1st time, i never been hear boy voice the whole day.

Though my heart is missing him...but my soul is keep praising God...

THANK GOD For letting me overcome every single problem...

God...I knew that you want me to get out from this relationship just to praise you.

I knew that....I will reposition myself right now...

and love you more than I love boy...

Your love is greater than anyone in this world...

I trust in You. You will lead my way...

and give me back the Holy Fire...

it was damn awesome...

The whole day, I been doing my assignment, stay at home praise Your name...

And went to church...

All i want is put You first....I believe through i scarified my love one....

You will blessed my future....

No one can take your place....

I must get right with all my friends....and those who beside me...

You guys are ROCKXX.....

~Friends~

Wow...such a long time never mention about friendship on here...
Now i realize, who is the one who really treat me well..
and who is the one who not...
Sometime too sensitive in a thing is not a good thing
try to put down....try to let go....
all i want back is just few little friends that really cares me....
that is You, You and You....

Just yesterday, we went out to Cheras to get some stuff..

Well...the feeling just like back to last time.

is so cool....out of sudden my tears just drip down.

I thought i can have a pretty cool wedding in 5 years time.

but now everything is under pending.

By the way, we just went out like a normal friends.

my heart missed those day so much..

when we walk, our hands will never separate.

do i still get the chance to go out with him again?

I hope i do so....

My mind keep thinking of something bad...

that not suppose to think of...

sigh.....the hurt is still crawling inside my heart.

I just pray that this feeling will blow away by a strong wind..

and my day will be brighten once again.

God....although my physical is very week...but my spiritually is very strong now.

Because I have spiritually husband (God), but physically I lost him....

I need both....can I ??

~The Revival Wind~

Pastor JayKoopman came to our church to give seminar and evangelistic event..

at first I thought this is just a normal pastor and normal evangelistic event

Never know, Pastor Jay has brought the Revival fire.

through this four days I've realize a lot of things through his preaching.

I always said, God will never forgive me again, God will never anoint me again.

Really Thank God that you brought Pastor Jay here...

When my spiritual down (that means i sin), I will always said I hate this church..

But now I realize that, all my thought is all wrong.

God send his son (Jay) to talk to me.

Now my heart is fully restore back the joys and grace.

I've been cheated by devil up side down.

Now once again I'm back again.

The fire inside my heart has started to burn back, is stir my heart back again.

And i just pray everyday and every night...

I just want my fire to keep burning and not light up again.

God...I just pray that through this week, "he" has also received your joy and love.

I believe.....

The fire inside his heart has burn up...

I trust in you..."he" will never be the same again....

God...I'm so sorry, I've been away from you for so darn long.

Now I'm back to your side...

I'm the one of the sheep that lost...

Now God you found me back....

I wont go away from you...and I stand firm in your heart..

I love you Daddy...My heavenly God...