~I still can~

I'm totally frustrated with this problem... There is no right or wrong for one another.
Why most of the weekend must have gathering or dinner, and putting me aside to sit on the bench. Is hard for me to be considerate nor tolerate. As far as I know, is not under your control to set meeting or gathering; yet I scolded you. Well, just being childish here (no big deal)!
Is hard for me to be in a different team with you, I dont know this will last for how long; I guess God is testing my patient.
Anyway, sometimes I feel out of the team, and I feel out of the connection between the whole team. I just need someone to walk with me, accompany me when I'm alone and not letting me to sit at the corner there.

As far as I know, I still can endure!! All the best Ashley